Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous
by writer4uall
Summary: Porscha Tennebam gets a Personal Assistant to follow her around. So, naturally, London wants one too. But who's willing to slave over London Tipton? Just guess. Follow Maddie and London on their wacky adventures who said Hollywood was easy?
1. Chapter 1

-Porscha Tennebam gets a Personal Assistant to follow her around and make sure she's front page in all the tabloids. So, naturally, London wants one too. But who's willing to slave over London Tipton? Just guess. Follow Maddie and London on their wacky adventures. Who said Hollywood was ever easy?-

Chapter 1: I Just Got a P.A.!

"Yes, Daddy just got me another yacht!" said London into her cell phone. She had spent most of her free time lately chirping to Porscha Tennebam, the daughter of Mr. Tipton's millionaire buddy, Richard Tennebam.

"Yeah?" Porscha said into the line. "Well, Father just bought me a Personal Assistant who'll follow me everywhere and make sure I get publicity! I want to be on the cover of the tabloids!"

"I could understand your feelings, if I wasn't already on the cover of the tabloids," said London.

"Yeah? Well, just wait. My P.A. will give you a run for your money," said Porscha, and hung up.

"Meanie!" London said loudly into her phone before snapping it shut.

"What is it this time?" asked Cody, as he and Zack left the candy counter. "Did Porscha take the last bottle of Seaspray Perfume at Le Fashione Boutiqua?"

"No!" said London. "Well, yeah, but that's not why she's a Meanie. She got a Personal Assistant!"

"I thought all the celebrities had one," said Zack.

"Not until I get one, they won't!" said London, storming past them. She hurried up to the candy counter.

"Yes London, what can I get you –"

"Magazine! NOW!"

"O-kay!" said Maddie, giving her the latest copy of USA Celeb.

London hesitantly flipped through the pages.

"Aww! Jessica Simpson's P.A. is working for Hannah Montana now!" she said, sounding offended. She looked a bit more. "Hey, Sharpay Evans's Personal Assistant just got fired!"

"Isn't she that Broadway chick from New Mexico? I wouldn't count on people she's fired. They go all loopy and shirk off their responsibilities," said Maddie. "That's the 6th one she's fired this month!" She studied London, who was scanning the rest of the page. "Why do you want a Personal Assistant anyway?"

"Porscha Tennebam just got one, and her's is gonna help her get on all the tabloids."

"I thought you were on the front of all the tabloids," said Maddie.

"Porscha said my famous days were over and she was gonna run me out of Hollywood," London explained.

"But London, you don't live in Hollywood!"

"Oh no! Her P.A.'s already working! I'm not FAMOUS!"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant. You're still famous. Just be confident, and impress your audience."

"What audience? Am I going on Broadway?" asked London. "Heeey, maybe I can steal Sharpay's next Personal Assistant!"

"No, you idiot. Do what your fans want. Check out the hottest trends page. See what outfits everyone is wearing, and check the opinions of everyone. Be a sleuth."

"Do I have to wear one of those hideous trench coats? I hear that's what everyone's NOT wearing!" said London.

"We've got work to do," Maddie sighed, massaging her temples.

"But no one's going to take a job from a Tipton... hey! YOU can be my Personal Assistant!" said London, grinning happily.

"Why would I do that?" asked Maddie.

"Because you get a salary."

"How much are we talking?"

"Oh, 2 Grand a month. Maybe 3."

"Oh, that's why I'll do it!"

"Yay me!" said London, clapping. "Now, let's get to work!"

"You're right; you have a lot of things –"

"I meant you," said London. "If we're improving our image, you have to fit it." She turned to the direction of the front desk. "Moseby! Maddie has a day off!"

Mr. Moseby nodded, and London dragged Maddie to the mall.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Paris Hilton's Wedding

"Guess what, Maddie!" shouted London, running out of the elevator.

"What?" asked Maddie.

"Paris Hilton is getting married, and I'm on the guest list! And I can bring you for your first Hollywood appearance!"

Maddie's mouth fell open.

"Wear the turquoise cocktail dress, I have a magenta one with just a little different design," said London.

"Ohmygawd! I'm going to Paris Hilton's wedding!" Maddie screamed. "So, who's she marrying?"

"Chad Michael Murray," said London.

"Ohmygawd! I'm going to Paris Hilton and Chad Michael Murray's wedding!" Maddie screamed.

"You're going to a celebrity wedding?" asked Zack, as he and Cody got off the elevator.

"Yep, thanks to London," said Maddie. "I'm her new Personal Assistant!" She turned to London. "So where's the wedding gonna be?"

"In a little town outside of Boston. But Paris and Chad are staying here because, well, me and Paris – we're like sisters."

"Paris and I," Maddie corrected.

"You're never MET Paris," said London. "Anyway, her daddy owns a hotel chain, my daddy owns a hotel chain. We're close, kinda like me and Porscha. When I'm not on the cover of the tabloids, she is."

"Porscha Tennebam is never on the cover of the tabloids," Maddie said.

"Exactly."

---

Paris entered the hotel.

"Wow, this place is HOT!" she said in a bubbly, cutesy voice.

"Paris!"

"London!"

The two girls hugged and did air kisses on each cheek.

"How's your dad?" asked Paris.

"Good! He just bought me a Personal Assistant!"

"I just hired my 1, 285th!" said Paris. "CALLIE!" she yelled over her shoulder to someone outside.

A pretty brunette girl in wire-rimmed glasses and a pretty army green top, a mini skirt, and brown leggings, who looked about 16, tore into the building.

"Oooh, she can hang out with mine!" said London. "MADELINE!"

Maddie hurried over from the candy counter, except she was dressed in a purple dress that came to just below her knees.

"Stylish," Paris commented. "Callie, hang out with Madeline here –"

"It's Maddie," said Maddie.

"Paris is talking, chick," said Paris. "Now where was I...?"

She and London stood in silence, pondering.

"Yeah, you two have fun with that," said Callie. She grabbed Maddie's arm and led her over to the candy counter. "I can't STAND this anymore! She just hired me yesterday, and I want to quit! And you think she's bad now? Wait until she says 'I do'! Or no, wait until the guy gets here! She gets all... ditzy..."

"You mean, she acts like normal, but it seems more annoying because the relationship won't last?" asked Maddie.

"Yeah, pretty much! She rushed her sister into marriage once just so she could wear this new magenta dress she bought, because she had nowhere else to wear it!" Callie said. "I just don't understand these... slip-ups."

"Yeah, all of her and Nicky's relationships were on that VH1 thing... I think it was a 'Hollywood's Shortest Marriages' special, or something," said Maddie.

"Yeah, them and there 5 million publicists."

"I know how you feel," said Maddie. "London forced me out of my laid back, girl-next-door, school girl style because I was the only one in Hollywood who would work as her Personal Assistant!"

"Oh, you too?" asked Callie. "Girl, I sympathize. I know where you've been, I've been there too."

All of a sudden, the girls heard muffled screams and turned to see two humungous bodyguards escorting a good-looking man into the Tipton.

"Great, here's Prince Charming with his two great knights, out to save us all. Send out an S.O.S. for me," said Callie sarcastically.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The Wedding Must Go On… Even to Extremes

Pretty soon, it was the morning of the wedding. At 5 hours 'till, Maddie and London went to Paris's suite to see how everything was coming along. Callie was outside the door, talking to someone on the other side.

"Paris, don't do this to me, don't do this to your people!" Callie shouted through the door. "Don't do this! You have to! Chad's waiting, everybody's waiting, London and Maddie – er, Madeline, are here to see you! They're here to help! Just come out!" Callie turned to Maddie and London. "She's having 'second thoughts'," said Callie.

"Really? I thought she had no thoughts," said Maddie. Callie gave a small smile, but continued to talk to Paris through the door.

"Please? Just come out! Come out or I'm quitting, and there aren't any more Personal Assistants to work for hotel heiresses!"

Paris finally came out.

"Chad was talking about Nicole to one of his friends on the phone!" she said. "And he said he preferred her! The wedding's off!"

London, Callie, and Maddie stood in the hallway, shocked.

"Wait," said Paris suddenly. "Who's that?"

She pointed to a bell-hop getting off the elevator. It was… Esteban.

"Now THAT's hot."

---

"Welcome my viewers from MTV. Chad and Paris have cancelled the big day, but Paris found a replacement groom so… Chelsea Robbins, here for your coverage on the wedding of Paris Hilton and Esteban Julio Rickardo Montoya DeLaRosa Romerez."

Maddie and London stared at the TV in Paris's suite in shock.

"Replacement groom," Maddie said under her breath. "Paris has a replacement groom."

"Hey, at least you're going to a celebrity wedding," said London.

"Paris just picked Esteban because he was the closest man to her at the time!"

"Now," said Chelsea Robbins, "we have some comments on the wedding from some back at our studio."

"Paris has a replacement groom," said one woman, who appeared to be named Amber Welsh. "That's like a substitute teacher!"

"The irony of this is, it's like Paris was thinking, 'I can't marry a celebrity, so I'll marry the next best thing… a bellhop!'" remarked a man named Brad Hamm.

Callie grabbed the remote and flicked the TV off.

"Come on, the Red Carpet gets rolled out in 45 minutes. Lets get there and make the most of this publicity thing."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Any Publicity is Good Publicity

London and Maddie got to the red carpet. Many fans began screaming and cameras flashed.

"Comments!"

"Miss Tipton, may I have your opinion?"

"Who is that you have with you?"

"No comment – you're not important enough, I'm happy for Paris because we've been almost like sisters all our lives, and this is my Personal Assistant, Madeline Fitzpatrick… okay, Maddie," answered London.

"London and Maddie, there is a rumor that you both are good friends with this Esteban. Is it true?" asked one woman.

"Yes, I've known him for 5 years, and they're a perfect match!" said London.

"Can we get some poses from both of you? Maddie, I LOVE what you've done with London's style!" she said. Neither London nor Maddie corrected that London picked out the clothes.

Many cameras flashed as the two posed and proceeded down the Red Carpet.

"Forget the tabloids!" said London. "If I get on the cover of a magazine, then you get a $1000 bonus!"

"I love the way you think, London!"

Suddenly, there were gasps down near the head of the Red Carpet. Maddie and London turned around to see Esteban collapsed on the ground. They ran over to him and helped him up.

"Esteban, what happened?" London asked, just loud enough to catch some of the other reporters' attention that she was helping.

"She called it off! She doesn't like anyone with a really long name!" he said. Reporters swarmed around, asking him questions. London and Maddie linked arms with him and yelled, "NO COMMENT!" They got into their car and headed back for the hotel.

---

"Maddie, are we in any magazines today?" London asked the next morning.

Maddie set down her coffee.

"I dunno, I haven't checked."

She looked though the pile. She laid them out as she said the names.

"M, Quizfest, J-14, POPStar, BOP, TigerBeat, People, TeenGirl, Elle Girl, Whazzup, Celeb Magazine, and OHMYGAWD!" Maddie yelled suddenly.

"What?" asked London.

Maddie held up The Boston Times. On the front was a picture of London helping Esteban up, and another helping him to the car.

The headline read, "Tipton and Romerez to tie the knot."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Someone Was Loosy-Lipped?

Maddie held up The Boston Times. On the front was a picture of London helping Esteban up, and another helping him to the car.

The headline read, "Tipton and Romerez to tie the knot."

London grabbed Maddie's coffee, took a sip, then spat it all over Maddie's face.

"You're supposed to have done that right when I told you," said Maddie, wiping off her face with the back of her hand.

"So someone was loosy-lipped?" asked London, placing her hands dramatically on her hips.

"Huh?"

"I mean the started the rumoring."

"Oh. Yes. Someone from The Boston Times," said Maddie. She checked the arcticle. Her mouth fell open. "'Submitted specially by Lindsay Lohan'?"

"She just hates me because I went to a party with Wilmer Valderrama after she broke up with him!" said London.

"'With photos provided by Ashlee Simpson'?"

"She dated him once!" London stated dismissively. "Look, I am London Elise Renee Genivieve Christine Taylor Ana Nicole Sarah Kate Emily Jessica Tipton, and I will not be messed with!" London said this rather loud, and many heads turned in the lobby.

"London Tipton?"

"London? Are the rumors true?"

"Is Esteban a good kisser? Elle Girl wants to know!"

"Comments! Do you have a comment?"

Maddie dove from behind the counter and blocked London. She led her to the elevator as cameras flashed. Once London was inside and the doors had closed, Maddie turned around.

"None of the rumors are true! London and I have been friends with Esteban for forever, and we were helping him – just as pals!" she shouted.

"Oh, Madeline," said a lady, walking up. "Kendra Blair from the Trendy Channel. Were those cocktail dresses Autorou Vitalli? I've never seen the design."

"Oh, no, they're from an employee for Donna Cabonna in Los Angeles, Raven Baxter," said Maddie.

"Oh, I love them!" said Kendra. "Well, viewers," she said to a camera behind her, "be looking for more Raven Originals in Boston while we continue coverage of the London/Esteban/Paris case!"

-IN LOS ANGELES-

Raven squealed as she watched the TV.

"Maddie, girl, I owe you!" she said.

-BACK IN BOSTON-

The elevator dinged and Esteban came out. More cameras flashed and reporters swarmed.

"Aye aye aye!" shouted Esteban shouted before returning to the elevator.

"So, Maddie," said another reporter, holding up a microphone, "are you and London still going to the Material Girls premiere this Friday?"

"Wouldn't miss it," said Maddie, before getting into the elevator to London's floor.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Sari St. Mark

It was the Friday after the whole Esteban incident, and London had survived quite well. As she climbed out of the window and onto the Red Carpet in her red Jessica Wayne evening gown, her smile was a mile wide.

Maddie followed in her Raven Baxter Original pink floral strapless. Maddie also had a headset and recorder. She needed some good quotes and material for the Official London Tipton Fansite at  and Maddie wanted it to be perfect, as she had spent 2 full days making the site flawless.

"Maddie!" someone yelled from the crowd. Maddie stopped and turned. A 9-year-old girl with a camera was waving. "Can I get a picture of you and London?"

"Sure!" Maddie said, calling London back over. Their backs to each other, they posed and gave a sweet smile. The camera flashed, and a yell of "THANK YOU!" was emitted from behind the fence around the carpet.

"Uh-oh," said London a few minutes later, stopping short.

"What?" asked Maddie.

"It's Sari St. Mark! She's heiress to the St. Mark throne, and she's dating Chris Brown. _And_ she met Orlando Bloom but never got a restraining order!"

"Is that something special?" Maddie asked, watching the back of Sari St. Mark.

"Yes, because Orlando Bloom is a god! I, London Tipton, will not _stand_ for this!"

At the sound of London's voice, however, Sari turned. Maddie could tell by taking one look at her that she was not one to be crossed.

Sari's hair was black, with a turquoise strand near the front to match her eyes and evening gown. Her lipstick was clear but so shiny that you could use it as a mirror, and Maddie figured she had used her whole stick of eyeliner in that one night.

"London," she said in an airy voice. "Good to see you... Oh, nice dress. Where'd you get it at? Cheap Charlie's?"

"Jessica Wayne," Maddie answered.

"Oh, and who's this?" Sari asked. "Your servant?"

"My Personal Assistant, Madeline."

"Nice to meet you," said Maddie, holding out her hand.

"Cute," remarked Sari. Maddie dejectedly put her hand down. "Tell Willie that Daddy said hi. Toodles!"

With that, Sari moved up the carpet and spit her gum out. It landed on someone's shoe, and they fainted in delight.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: "I'M GONNA MEET OPRAH!"

"Ohmygawd!" said Maddie exitedly. "We're going to Oprah's exclusive Teen People honorary party!"

"Yeah, yeah, I went last year," said London, waving away the invitation.

"We're still going, right?" asked Maddie anxiously.

"Yes, fine, fine, we'll go. Oprah _does_ owe me."

"What for?"

"Well, she never payed me for going to her fundraiser," said London, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. "I'm sorry, but if I'm going to make an appearance I need her monetarial donation."

Maddie slapped her forhead. "If it was to raise money, she shouldn't have to... Never mind. The point is, I'm gonna meet OPRAH WINFREY! Who else goes?"

"The usual," said London. "Hannah Montana, Nicky Hilton, Jesse McCartney, Chris Brown, Daniel Radcliffe, Vanessa Hudgens, Aly and A.J., Corbin Bleu, and I heard this year, someone named Brenda Song."

Maddie shook her head. "Never heard of her."

"But the bad news is, Sari St. Mark is gonna be there." London frowned shaking her head.

"So is it like the core of all hotel heiresses? I mean, think – you, Sari, Nicky..."

"Don't forget Jackie Hampton of the Hampton Inn, and Shela Western of the Best Western Hotel and Suites." **(a/n: I made up the whole Jackie Hampton and Shela Western, I don't even know if those hotels HAVE heiresses.)**

"Whoa, you know all of them?" Maddie asked.

"Yes, I do... so, P.A. Madeline, what shall we wear?" asked London.

"Well, we might be able to wear some Raven Originals," said Maddie.

---

"So it's all set?"

"Yes, we're staying at the Malibu Tipton since I'm on the guest list too!"

"Awesome, I guess we can meet you there before the party! So how'd you get in?"

"Donna was raving about me to Oprah during the Material Girls premiere, so Oprah gave her an invitation then and there!"

"Awesome! See you then!"

Maddie hung up with Raven and turned to London.

"We have the dresses, but Raven mentioned Malibu – I must have not read the invitation well enough."

"Yeah, Hannah Montana, her brother, Jason, and her father, Robbie Ray, are hosting the party," said London.

"Who's Jason Montana?"

"Dunno," London shrugged. "I knew she had a brother, but I've never seen him before."

"Oh well... I'M MEETING OPRAH WINFREY! I'M MEETING OPRAH WINFREY!"

"NOT IF YOU KEEP DANCING! NOT IF YOU KEEP DANCING!"

"Sorry."


End file.
